Week 8

Dear Dad,

I've been in Harlem a year now with Zane. When I first got here, he said that it's the "age of the new negro," that "identity is open-ended." Maybe for Zane, that's true. He's had first-hand experience taking advantage of this truth of his experience, what with his work undercover and all. But brothers as we may be, this dark skin of mine does make a difference. I know he doesn't mean any real harm in poking at me for missing my moonshine brewing or still falling into my southern accent. Even my first day here, Zane said this is no place for a "bootlegging scumbag." But sometimes he makes me feel a little like I'm back-woods, backwards. I know he's spent many more years up here than I have, and he's gotten a lot of experience with classy activities like writing and journalism. I know it won't all happen for me at once. But even with more time, I'm not entirely sure that there's room in these ideas of the New Black for me. And I can't help but think about everyone back home. They aren't living in the "age of the new negro"—the Klan is still going strong down there. What kind of age are they in? Are we supposed to leave them all behind just because we're not in it anymore?

It's partly true what Zane said, that "this is the land of black lawyers, black doctors, black businessmen." It's amazing to see black people thriving in Harlem. But I don't think it's as simple as "you can do whatever you want here," as Zane put it. I mean, maybe here, maybe in Harlem. But step just outside of Harlem and you're sure to find white folks who are kin to the Klan in the south. They don't think I can do whatever I want. And their thinking still has power, I can feel that. Zane, he maybe doesn't feel their power so much—passing with his light skin, he doesn't have to, sometimes. But I can't escape it the way he can, even momentarily.

I guess what I'm saying is, I miss home. I'm not trying to romanticize anything, I know how I felt in jail waiting for the mob. And I'm not going back. But I can't deny that somehow I miss home.

- Alonzo

Comments

  1. The line "I'm not entirely sure that there's room in these ideas of the New Black for me" stuck out to me because it emphasizes the privilege that Zane does have at times that Carl does not have access to. It also speaks to the dangers of monolithic ideas of "blackness" and the way certain narratives can leave folks out.

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