Week 2: Nina Simone


Mother,

            I think I understand you a little better than I used to. I won’t lie: some of the things you’ve done to me, I may never forget. Staring me down in Liberian streets, hitting me, hoping I’ll give you some kind of reaction. In your pain, you turned to hurting me. I was alone. Scared. I didn’t know what to do. You treated me the same way Dad treated you. But I understand now that you were caught between two worlds. Two personalities. I know you were happier in Africa than in America, but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for leaving me. I used to wait for you. I’d hear the phone ring, and run to the receiver. Each time, I’d hope it was you. It never was.
Being black in the US is hard.  Being political in the US is hard. Being a female in the US is hard. Being an artist in the US is hard. I think I can understand more now how hard it was. All of these traits that you identified with weren’t the easiest to embody. But why didn’t you stay and keep fighting? Did it become too much for you? The shootings. The rallies. The violence. Did you get to the point where you felt like you were suffocating? Let me ask you this: what did Africa do for you? Did you feel at home and like you could be yourself? Does a place dictate who you are more than the people who surround you? Maybe you let political turmoil in the US define you more than it should have. Maybe that’s what drained you and made you leave. I don’t know if I can make that many more excuses for you. I know that you were tortured on the inside—caught between a singer and someone who wanted more; someone who wanted to change the lives of African Americans in the US. If you were alive now, maybe I’d be able to tell you that you were both, that you didn’t have to choose between one or the other. That you didn’t have to set the two people you wanted to be in conflict with one another. Yet at the same time, I like to believe that you knew this. I think in your brightest moments, you knew that your work as an artist allowed you to positively influence the Civil Rights movement and the lives of black Americans. And, despite everything that happened, I’ll always remember the best of you.

Love always,
Lisa


Comments

  1. Allyson HobbsApril 10, 2018 at 2:34 PM

    Very beautifully written! Looking forward to discussing this in class.

    ReplyDelete

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