Dear Celia From Mary Hemings

Dear Celia,

I admire your confidence and refusal to have your feminity controlled by Newsom. You understood as well as anybody the consequences of your actions, and stayed convicted in your choice. Knowing the context of your involvement with George, an enslaved man under Newsom, I recognize that your decision was your own, independent of the wants of the man you were involved with at the time. The psychological torture of being in a position where you have to kill someone just to preserve your humanity is a burden that many Black women at the time could not realistically have dealt with. The decisions that you made, other women made, and that I made are equally valid in dealing with the times of slavery.

During a time where your (enslaved Black women) sexuality was heavily politicized, I can understand how complicated your situation was and how it differs from mine. Under the current laws of the time, Newsom was well within his rights to purchase you with the intents of using you however he deemed fit. Not an uncommon practice at the time, he engaged in unwanted sexual activity with no eyes watching or caring in the least bit. To outsiders, it would be odd for you as an enslaved black woman to refuse sexual activity due to your perceived sexual promiscuity. In the eyes of Newsom and the community, your existence was merely Newsom's private property.

In my case, I was involved with a white slaveowner who had intentions of living in union acting almost as a legal marriage. My decision to continue in this situation speaks to the unique privilege I and my family enjoyed and the anomalies that existed during the slavery period. Looking at our situations side by side it is easy to say that you made the right choice dying a dignified death while I sold out and betrayed my culture. Although some may argue that, I personally believe that I made the best choice for my children to have a higher chance of not enduring the horrors of slavery. I simply made decisions about using whatever means available to maintain my humanity in the face of the onslaught.

Love,

Mary Hemings

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